Posted by: irishmama78 | October 20, 2014

Bad day!!!

So today it REALLY hit me hard!!! Some days are more real than others and today is one of those REAL days!!!
It started off good, I went to Chase’s school to volunteer, which was fun bc I get to volunteer in his class 🙂
So I get to hang out with my buddy, and all his friends!!
After that it all just hit me like a ton of bricks…..I have BREAST CANCER, I have to do a HUGE surgery, what if my breasts look terrible afterwards, it’s not a boob job people!! That’s the other thing everyone is like at least you get a boob job for free, well no I don’t!!!!! It’s not free I am taking valuable time away from my family, my kids, probably going to have to skip my birthday this year and thanksgiving and Christmas I was still be healing or out of it…….UGH!
I have been looking at surgeons…..some have great reviews but the pictures of the reconstruction (bc that’s what I am having not a BOOB JOB), are hideous, they look like Frankenstein boobs…… Oh it’s just all so sad!!!!
I actually like my breast they are perfect to me, which is why this is sooooooo hard, I feel like I am losing my feminity, I feel like I am making a mistake some days and other days I feel so confident and at peace…..
I pray and I do get peace, but it’s just all sooooo overwhelming, it’s the hardest thing I have EVER gone through!!!!
I know there are women that have it worse than I do but I AM NOT THEM!! This is my story, my body, my life……
It’s just so hard bc everyone keeps saying be positive and that everything will be ok, but it’s not ok!! I have cancer and I am losing my breasts, that’s a big freaking deal!!!
Sorry for the negative post today, my counselor said I should write to get my thoughts out but I am not sure this is what you all signed up for……
Thanks for reading and thanks for following my progress……..hopefully tomorrow is a better day ………

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Responses

  1. Elisha….Glad you are getting it out….it does suck and it is one of the hardest things you’ve been through… I’m keeping you in prayer….love, Mary

  2. This is your journey and should never be compared to anyone else’s. Don’t think of how other fought this, you fight this the way that feel and have the knowledge to fight it. All you can do it get thru this and do It the way you feel is the right way to do it. I am here if you ever need me to take the boys even on bad days. Just call me!!!

  3. You are entitled to bad days and venting. This is life changing! I think it’s great you’re getting out some frustrations here. I would never ever think that you could go through something like this and not be upset, confused, sad, angry… That isn’t real. Let it out girl!! **hugs** xoxo ❤️💋


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